The art of Self assurance

I never truly understood the importance of having confidence in myself, and that lack of self-assurance played a huge role in the depression I experienced five years ago. I often doubted my worth, second-guessed my abilities, and allowed fear to hold me back. Looking back, I realize that my struggles weren’t just about external challenges—they were deeply rooted in how I saw myself.  

Self-assurance is a state of mind where you have attained a sense of security in being yourself, regardless of what others think or the unrealistic standards society has created. It means accepting who you are, raising your standards because you recognize your value and worth.

 

Self-assurance is understanding that you don’t need to derive joy from others to be yourself. Yes, it feels great when people contribute to your happiness, but it also means knowing that, even in their absence, you remain whole and have the ability to grow into a better version of yourself.

 - Joanna Osaghae 

 It isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we learn, unlearn, and grow into. It took me time to understand that true confidence is a continuous journey of self-discovery—understanding your gifts, abilities, and flaws, and embracing every part of them with love and confidence. 

And once I began that journey, everything started to change.  

Self-assurance is the balance between self-acceptance and growth. It’s not about ignoring your weaknesses to feel good but rather acknowledging them and actively working to turn them into strengths. It means making intentional choices and taking real action to either improve those weaknesses or manage them in a way that allows you to thrive despite them.

3 TIPS FOR YOU! 

1. Confidence Is a Continuous Learning Process—It’s Not the Absence of Fear

Trust me, it took me a while to truly understand this. Confidence doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxious or uncertain; it means choosing to take action despite those feelings. It’s about embracing the responsibility to move forward, even when fear tries to hold you back.

Once you grasp this, you’ll realize that fear and uncertainty often stop us from growing—not because we’re incapable, but because we hesitate. However, when you take that bold step to be yourself, to push forward despite the doubts in your mind, you’ll start seeing real progress and transformation in your life.

2. If Their Opinions Don’t Motivate You to Be Yourself or Become Better, Let Them Go!

People will always have something to say. Over time, I’ve realized that most opinions are shaped by personal experiences, upbringing, the information people consume, and the beliefs they’ve held onto for years.

Instead of taking every opinion to heart, learn to see beyond the words. Try to understand the intention behind them, but if their message doesn’t serve you—if it doesn’t inspire growth or self-acceptance—don’t hold onto it. Not every opinion deserves a place in your mind.

3. Be Honest With Yourself—Don’t Sugarcoat Your Wrongs

Confidence isn’t about ignoring your mistakes; it’s about owning them. While self-love is important, it shouldn’t come at the cost of accountability. When you mess up, don’t make excuses—be real with yourself.

Give yourself honest self-talk. Acknowledge what went wrong, reflect on it, learn from it, and then move forward. Growth comes from self-awareness, not self-deception. Scold yourself when necessary, but do it in a way that pushes you to be better, not tears you down.

Self-assurance is a journey, not a destination, and the best time to start is now. It won’t always be easy—you’ll have moments of doubt, setbacks, and times when growth feels slow. But don’t give up! Every step you take toward embracing yourself, learning, and evolving is worth it. You are capable, valuable, and more powerful than you realize. And if no one else is cheering you on, know that I am! Keep pushing forward, keep believing in yourself, and watch how far you’ll go. You've got this!

Stay happy, my lovelies 💋